when we burst, start over
by chinarai
Summary: It's a bit of a secret, known only by a few chosen adults that had been around to witness her mourning from so close, and someday they will disclose it to their friends. Sakura looks back at him and urges him to lean beside her on the railing, and he watches the fireworks reflecting in her eyes. for shikasaku week 2018
1. look at the fire and think of me

Legend says it's shikasaku week. Actually, it began yesterday, but I was unsure if I should even try to participate because I found out about it about three days ago. Sometimes I don't work well under pressure aldkhasf

Title and chapter titles are from Purity Ring - begin again

Day 01: Hidden in the Leaves/Will of Fire

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 **i. look at the fire and think of me**

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Shikamaru is used to being swept along the mess whenever something big is to happen in Konoha. It's been part of his life since he earned the title of chunin all those years ago, to have responsibilities thrusted into his hands and so many things to take care of that he hardly has time to breathe. Other people are caught in it too, of course, but everyone is so busy with what they've been tasked with that they hardly have time to help one another.

The one person he sees not affected by it all is the current, soon to be retired, Hokage, sitting behind his desk, unfazed by the commotion as usual. Kakashi had never really wanted to don the white robes, but Tsunade wasn't up for it anymore, and the one person she recommended to take her place was too young still. So he shouldered through it, and Shikamaru thinks he's happy to finally be stepping away from the role.

He relies to the Hokage the progress of the preparation, now only hours away from taking place. Dignitaries from other villages have arrived and are waiting for it to begin. The room chosen to host the after party set to happen after the ceremony is ready, the cooks preparing to serve all the guests. The roof of the Hokage Tower is decorated, just as the entire village is. Security has been reinforced, with ANBU patrolling the streets and ninjas from other villages lending a help - most of them from Suna and Kumo, places that extended their hands in support after the tragic end of the Fourth Shinobi War.

Kakashi nods along, listening despite the usual disinterest in his eyes that skim a document in his hand, but don't register any of the printed words. "And where is she?"

It takes Shikamaru little time to understand what he means, but it takes him a handful of seconds to catch the slight tremor in the Hokage's voice. He's apprehensive. He had been too worried for her once, and the feeling lingers to this day. "The graveyard, I suppose."

It's a place he'd visited a lot in the past, back before the invasion and Konoha's destruction, lighting incense and cigarettes alike in Asuma's grave, sitting there quietly and letting the silence do the talking. Now his grave is symbolic, his body long lost after the strike, but fresh graves with brand new corpses are occupying some of the space. Two in particular catch most people's attention, though only one gets many gifts and flowers.

"Of course," Kakashi agrees. Tension in his shoulders seeps away and he sighs, rubbing his fingers over his tired eyes. His concern is nearly palpable, and there hasn't been a day Shikamaru hasn't witnessed his worried gaze flitting over the form of his student since they returned from the battlefield. "I won't be too far, but you'll take care of her. Won't you?"

Shikamaru nods. Even if he weren't caught in the whirlwind since the beginning, he would. It's his duty as-

"And try not to distract her too much," Kakashi saves his teasing tones and remarks for rare, few occasions. This looks like one of those. "She will have a lot of work to do." He sweeps his hand at the piled documents lined neatly on his desk.

Shikamaru rolls his eyes half-heartedly, sighs heavily, but there's a slight smile tugging at his lips. "Of course, sir."

Kakashi seems content, eyes crinkling in a smile hidden behind his mask, and plants his hands on the tabletop like he needs the assistance to stand up from his chair. "I'll leave to prepare for the ceremony. Has Tsunade arrived yet?" He leaves once he receives the confirmation, and Shikamaru is left to tidy up the office before preparing as well.

Outside, everyone is dressed in white. Celebrating the rise of a new Hokage is as important to them as seasonal festivals and holidays. There are as many food stalls and music playing now as there are in hanamis, and the throng of people wandering the streets makes it hard for him to move. Somehow, he finds some of the people he's been looking for. Yamato and Sai are on their way to the Hokage Tower, and Ino is sitting behind the counter of the flower shop dabbing her face with a soiled tissue. Tenten and Hinata are there, too, preparing to go to the celebration together. He's not surprised by that. The four of them have grown into an incredibly tight group since the aftermath.

Only an hour remains now, enough time for him to go home, shower and get himself into a new change of clothes. But first, there's somewhere he needs to go, and the farther away he gets from the Hokage Tower and main streets, the less crowded it becomes.

The graveyard is mostly empty. Here, he can listen to his own thoughts, and the quietness of the space gives his ears a rest from the talking from all the inhabitants of Konoha and visitors. His steps on the grass are almost too loud in the peaceful atmosphere, and the agitation that has been powering him through the day ebbs away, gives space to his usual ease. The slight slouch of his shoulders is back and his gait is slow, languid as he walks to the twin graves in the center of the area.

Predictably, she's here, kneeling on the grass before them, in the space in between. The grave to the right has too many flowers arrangements on top to count, too many incenses burning, many offerings lined around it. The one to the left is bare save from a simple arrangement of white blossoms, obviously hers.

He comes to stand beside her, but says nothing, hands deep in his pockets. She doesn't look up at him either, hands in her lap, gaze to the grass. It takes a while before she reaches out to touch both graves and rises to stand, finally turning to him. Her face is dry, but still his thumb sweeps under her bottom lashes, and she smiles.

"They'd be proud of you." The only answer he gets is a tiny sniff from her, and he accompanies her halfway to her house before they split, only to meet again later.

Few people are allowed on top of the Hokage Tower in moments like this. It makes security a tad more difficult, but everyone agrees she can use some support now. Yamato and Sai, Ino and their friends, and her parents are all down on the street as close to the Tower as possible. Tsunade is here on the roof, and Gaara is present too, as the Kazegake would have been present were it his first true friend in her place. Well, they grew close after a shared loss, and his title as leader grants him a nice little spot to watch it from up close.

She comes up from the stairway, fidgeting anxiously, but smiling to accept Tsunade's praises and Gaara's words. Kakashi waits until she disentangles from them and takes a few deep breaths, and finally he steps closer to the railing, a hush falling over the people below.

"Now, we're starting the Seventh Hokage Inauguration Ceremony. It will be hosted by me, the Sixth Hokage, Hatake Kakashi. I would like to thank you all for coming." From where he stands, Shikamaru can see him tightening the grip on the white hat. "As you know, I used to have a student that wanted to be a Hokage more than anything. It was his driving force, his passion. He wasn't a very good ninja in the beginning, but I had the opportunity to watch him grow."

A few chuckles sound among the people, and even Shikamaru lets himself smile at the memory of a clumsy student that never got a basic jutsu right, but somehow became one of the strongest ninja of his generation. He casts a look at the trio across from him, sees in their eyes as they recall moments long past.

"Sadly, he never got to fulfil his dream. The Fourth Shinobi War took so much from us. It took away husbands and wives, partners, siblings, parents, relatives, friends, found family. It took from me two students. It took from the original Team 7 half of its integrants." Kakashi pauses to center himself and take a look at his student, standing between the Kazekage and the Fifth. "But I get to see one of my students become Hokage regardless. She grew up to be a strong, capable ninja, an incredibly skilled medic, trained by the Fifth Hokage herself, and I couldn't be prouder to pass on the title to her."

He turns sideways, stretches his hand in her direction, and she walks up to take it.

"Everyone, meet Haruno Sakura, my student, my successor."

She's crying. He can't see her face from a distance, but by now Shikamaru knows her enough to be able to read the quiver of her shoulders. Kakashi is rubbing her back soothingly, the hat now perched on her head, and she's waving at the people as they cheer her on. She is the best choice, been around Hokages for most of her life to know how politics work, is liked by most of the population for the works she does at the hospital. She's got a bit of a temper, but she's perfect for the job, and the red words on a white backdrop fits her nicely.

Sakura had a bit of a speech done and she goes through only half of it before she has to stop. Below, most of their friends are in tears. Losing Naruto had affected them all too much, left the village with someone more to mourn. They had all thought he'd become undefeatable after wining so many battles, until he was whisked away from them. Accepting Tsunade's suggestion to become Hokage had been her way of honoring her lost teammates.

They head to the large room where they will celebrate shortly after, their friends already there waiting for them. Rock Lee and Kiba sweep her up on their shoulders and chant her name with everyone else as the others clap enthusiastically. Yamato is allowed to congratulate her first, then Sai, and then Ino is barreling through the others and clinging to her like a monkey, the other girls close behind.

Shikamaru watches from the sidelines, nursing a drink and waiting for the right moment to congratulate her. Their eyes meet from time to time, but never linger too long. Kakashi gives him sidelong glances, and he brushes the Sixth away, only half listening to the conversation of the older adults.

Finally, as the hours wear on and it's dark enough for the fireworks, their friends make their way up to the roof, most of them a little too tipsy, but all smiling and laughing. Shikamaru intercepts her then, stopping her before she can follow them outside, pressing her to the wall in the stairway and slotting their lips together, like a perfect fit.

"Congratulations," he whispers before leaning down once again for another brief kiss, then pulls away to let her go before anyone notices them missing.

She smiles at him, cheeks flushed and pretty, takes him by the hand until they reach the roof and have to separate. It's a bit of a secret, known only by a few chosen adults that had been around to witness her mourning from so close, and someday they will disclose it to their friends.

Sakura looks back at him and urges him to lean beside her on the railing, and he watches the fireworks reflecting in her eyes.

* * *

So this is a concept I've been working on and off for too long, and I've mentioned it before. It's inspired by a piece of fanart I can't seem to find again, of Sakura visiting Naruto's and Sasuke's graves dressed as Hokage. And I thought - why not? I imagine they're around 25 here. A bit unrealistic, but uh, it's an anime about ninja and tailed beasts and lots of weird stuff, so this is nothing lmao

This is a race against time to post everything, so we'll see how this goes.


	2. i need not one thing more

Day 02: Mission Report

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 **ii. i need not one thing more**

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Sakura adjusts well to the role of Hokage, surprising no one, really.

Gaara stays for a day more. Theirs is a friendship born out of struggles, from his poisoned brother to the loss of a common friend. They visit the graveyard together, share a meal, and Sakura walks him to the gates. All the while, they are being trailed by Shikamaru, Temari and Kankuro - and the ANBU responsible for her security hidden in the shadows.

Tsunade leaves after a few days. She had always been one for tough love, but now she's all compliments, gushing about her apprentice. Shizune lingers in the office too and she's equally proud, congratulating Sakura every so often and reassuring her she's going to do a wonderful job. When Tsunade leaves, Shizune goes back to splitting her time between the hospital and duties as assistant, though she sometimes voices Shikamaru is more than capable of handling everything on his own.

Kakashi stays around for two weeks after he stepped down, coming to the office regularly and helping as much as he can. Sakura tries to reassure him that it's fine and he should finally get some much needed rest, but nothing she says really changes his mind. War changed many things for many people, and though Kakashi is no stranger to losing teammates, maybe he's finally had enough of keeping people at arm's length.

At long last, it's finally just the two of them in the office - for most of the time. Shikamaru makes good of his promise and doesn't distract her from her work as Sakura powers through the piles of documents with a vigor he hasn't witnessed in the Sixth before. They're often interrupted by teams returning from missions, and she's always on call if they ever need her in the hospital. Regardless of being summoned or not, Sakura saves at least an hour of her day to visit the place and check herself if anyone needs her assistance.

He thinks at some point the novelty of being Hokage will wear off, but Sakura is known for her perseverance. That's how she went from a book smart genin to the woman sitting in the Hokage office today. She might get tired of the job someday, but she'll never not do her best when it comes to it.

At some point, other Kages and dignitaries come to have their official first meetings with the new Hokage. Sakura is familiar with most of these people, both from her time as Tsunade's apprentice and the War, and she goes through these meetings with unspeakable grace, and some patience that in unknown to her. She really is prepared for this. Not that he didn't know this already, but every time he's reminded of it, it only makes his fondness grow.

One day, Shikamaru finds himself outside her door late in the evening. It's rare, but Kages have days off, and it's the reason he loathes to be here, knocking on her door and disrupting her peace twelve hours she's set to return to the office, but he'd been there when an ANBU team came back from a mission and, well, being the Hokage's assistant means he's always working.

She's moved to the Hokage Residence. It's far too big for one person, she says, but it makes it easier for her and her security team. Judging by the hour and he unhurried knocks, she answers the door wearing short shorts and an oversized shirt, which has been missing from his closet for a month now. He gives it a pointed look and she giggles, opening the door wider in a silent invitation.

Being Hokage comes with many benefits. Housekeepers, cooks, other services that no one really has use for. Sakura gives them all at least a day off a week, easily willing to give them more if they ask, whether it's her own day off or not. Only one person can't make much of a mess here, so all they do is keep the place dust free and leave her dinner ready for when she comes home.

Today, she's been cooking. A bottle of sake sits on the counter, the rice is cooking and she's tossing around vegetables and meat for a simple stir fry. He kisses her on the lips when the door closes, leaves the folder on the low table in the living room and pours himself a cup. They don't have many chances of being domestic, and there's something good about kissing her behind the ear and wrapping his arms around her waist as they talk, mostly about work, before she's ushering him to set the table. He washes the dishes afterwards as she dries and puts them away.

They curl up together on her couch later, sake swapped for some herbal tea, mission report balanced on her bent knees as they go through it together. The war may be over and powerful ninjas gone, but evil can still be found in the word. Skilled civilians enrolled themselves in illicit activities, human trafficking being just one of them. Konoha partnered up with Iwa to take them down.

It's just the first part of the mission, reconnaissance, gathering information. She will have to send Kurotsuchi a message later to decide their next step.

With that out of the way, Sakura sets the unraveled scroll on the table and stands up, takes his hand to guide him to her bedroom. He's upon her quickly, her face in his hands and their mouths moving together in a slow rhythm as she guides them backwards to her bed. They stop as the back of her knees hit the mattress, and she pressed a gentle kiss to his chin.

"You can shower if you'd like," her hands are already working to peel away his shirt. "I think you need to bring over more changes of clothes."

He hums, lips busy on the bare skin of her neck. "I want to do something else first, and then you can join me in the shower."

She's warm, skin marred with some scars, but no less soft, made softer under his calloused fingers. Sakura shivers as they travel up her sides, lifting up the shirt. The skin to skin contact makes his head spin, and he licks into her mouth as they lower themselves down to the bed.

Today, it's unhurried. There's no rush, no urgency, so he takes his time exploring her body, mouthing at all the places that draw noises from her, working his fingers in her wet heat until she's pliant and boneless and begging. When he sinks in, he sighs and draws it out until the pleasure builds up and they chase it together.

Shower afterwards is quick, but they'll take a better one in the morning. They dry and slip into her bed, still unclothed, curling around each other and drifting off to sleep almost immediately. These are the nights when he gets the most sleep, when he's unconscious for some blissful, peaceful hours, waking up fully rested, nose buried in pink hair. He wakes her up with kisses on the nape of her neck and bare shoulder, and they spare a moment to just lie together and enjoy the morning.

Shikamaru cooks breakfast for them, sets the food on the table and slips into the bathroom for a shower as she piles the dirty dishes in the sink. When he returns, she's drying her hair and styling it for the day. He presses a kiss to her forehead and lips, and leaves the bedroom, goes to the living room to roll up the scroll and set it on the corner of the table by the front door. It won't do for her to arrive in the office without it in her hands.

He looks back just as he's unlocking the door, turning to catch her head poking out of her bedroom. Sakura blows him a kiss and he pretends to catch it, making her laugh, and he smiles, ready to face the day ahead.

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a/n: I didn't mention it, buuut I'm using this as an opportunity to explore this AU. Also, I ran out of written chapters, so please be patient asfkhasl


	3. oh, wrap the ground around

Day 02: Mission Report

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 **iii. oh, wrap the ground around**

* * *

Shikamaru knows he promised Kakashi to not distract her, but it's actually her that distracts him.

Anyone would have the same problem were them in his place, his secret - but no less his - girlfriend as the head of an entire village, incredibly beautiful, smart and strong. There had been a time when he thought staying in her presence would be too troublesome, now it was more like a gift.

Ino will probably strangle them both if she ever finds out Shikamaru gets a bit turned on at seeing Sakura handling politics so well, looking at him from over mission scrolls and documents alike with a glint in her green eyes.

Ino will strangle them both when she finds out they've been dating behind her back for some months now.

It's hard to find the time and privacy to switch places and have her straddling him on the Hokage chair as he kisses her senseless - too many ANBU around and people coming and going, and all that - and while that is a good daydream, he saves those for when he's at home after work. They can't and won't do anything risky here, but he does find breaches to run his fingers on exposed skin and make her shiver whenever she gives him these looks.

He knows, later, she'll get a payback when he shows up at her doorstep with no excuse on the tip of his tongue at all, but here she keeps her hands to herself. It's cute: Sakura twitches and wrinkles nose, loses her train of thought, and he smiles at her discreetly as some ninja watches the office from a distance.

Their friends come and go, for missions or other matters, and Shikamaru is always standing that respectful distance away. He never teases her in the presence of others, for more reasons than one. Firstly, he can't taint her image as Hokage. Secondly, they don't know they're together. And thirdly, Kakashi will have his head if he ever finds out.

Kakashi, for all his tardiness and lazy tendencies that rivalled Shikamaru's, never neglected his work. He didn't think himself fit of the position, but it didn't mean he wouldn't do his best for the village just because he would rather be out on the field or just lying around reading. Promises made aside, Kakashi had been her teacher, he's someone that keeps a close eye on her even now after the War. His protectiveness over Sakura can rival one of a father, or one of an older brother given their age difference, and it means he doesn't need to see or hear that Shikamaru had his tongue in her mouth in the Hokage office.

He'd always said the office was meant for work only, the only reason why he kept his Icha Icha books at home in all the years they've known him.

Well, Shikamaru can honor the Sixth's request, which is why they never go further than slight touches and glances, waiting for the moment when they'll find themselves alone.

Today, Sakura suggests they head out for lunch break. They'll still be taking scrolls with him, but a change of scenery for an hour might do them some good, and he gets to keep his hand on her lower back under the pretence of keeping her safe out in the open. She finds a place that suits her mood and they sit on a table by the window overlooking the busy streets, smiling up at the waitress and ordering for them both as Shikamaru arranges the files on the tabletop.

Whatever work they thought they'd get done slips through their fingers the moment Ino plops down on the table beside Sakura. She slings an arm over her shoulders, pulls the Hokage close and reaches for his glass of water across the table. "So, Sakura," she begins after a short greeting, "Have you given thought to what I suggested?"

Shikamaru looks at her quizzically, watches as Sakura cringes. "Ino, please. I don't have time for that."

"Oh, come on." The blonde huffs. "It will do you good. Imagine, you can go to those meetings with a hunk of a beefcake hanging off your arm."

He knows immediately it's one of Ino's ploys to get Sakura on a date with someone, and he's not even mad that Sakura didn't tell him about it, because it's an occurrence more common than both of them would like it to be. Ino may back off in the moment, but she'll keep trying, as she's been doing since they were teens.

"Ino, I don't need… A hunk of a beefcake to go with me to diplomatic meetings. I can go with Shikamaru just fine. You know, as I should."

"No offense to Shika here, but don't you get bored of spending the entire day with him?" She sticks her tongue out at him when he gives her a dry look. "You must really like him, uh, Sakura?"

Thankfully, the waitress comes with their food and it distracts Ino. They both know she'd been only teasing, and hadn't even hinted at anything, but Shikamaru was willing to bet that Sakura's heart had picked up just as his had. She swears to never leave the office for lunch breaks again, and he'll gladly retrieve take out from the other side of Konoha if it means no one will comment on it again.

By now they should've broken the news, but it's good as it is. He doesn't like to have his life exposed, and this is one of the few things Sakura can keep private now, so they keep quiet and put up with Ino trying to get her best friend into blind dates.

Life goes on and one afternoon, he's beside her chair, hand propped on the backrest, the other tracing the lines of the report as they go over it together. Shikamaru had taken part in organizing Chunin Exams for as long as he can remember, so he's well versed in it enough to be of great help to her now that they are to host one in Konoha. Around the desk, more paper is scattered about: their budget, possible housing for delegations, the expected number of outsiders, security for the event.

And then there's a brief knock on the door before it opens, just as they are looking at each other and discussing costs. Ino, Kiba, Rock Lee and Shino, responding to her earlier summon, stopping short when they see them.

Belatedly, Shikamaru realizes he should step away, and that no one bothers to wait to be called in anymore. He's standing too close to breathe the same air, too close to be merely platonic. Kiba lifts a brow, Ino narrows her eyes, Lee looks between the two. Shino is the only one to mind his business, bless him. He sees a brief flash of panic in Sakura's eyes before she hides it well and turns to face them. Shikamaru finally moves and retrieves the designed mission scroll.

It's like she's briefing only Shino, because the other three are going over every scenario and possibility in their heads. Just their luck that Ino had to see it, and Kiba too, because he's her male equivalent, and he's going to tell all his friends about it whether he realizes it or not. And Rock Lee - he'll probably challenge Shikamaru to a duel over Sakura's hand after he cries to Guy about it.

And Guy will tell Kakashi, and Shikamaru will be a dead man.

He half expects any of them to ask about the closeness when Sakura inquires if they have any questions, but they all know better than getting too friendly with her in the office. They leave, not before Ino makes a motion that implies she'll grill them both about it as soon as she gets back in a week, but at least Shikamaru finds a little comfort in knowing she'll have to deal with Lee's dramatics if she wants to discuss it with Kiba during the mission.

Sakura shoves her face in her hands a full minute after their departure. "We'll never hear the end of it."

He shoves mental images of his funeral away and places a hand on her shoulder. "We can handle it." A pause, and he tightens his grip. "We should probably tell our parents first, though."

She groans and slumps in her chair. "God, I can already hear my mom questioning you before my dad tells embarrassing childhood stories."

"If it serves of any consolation," he begins, crouching down beside her. "My mom will do the same."

Sakura snorts and looks down at him. "I think I'd rather face Kaguya one more time than do this, but yes. We have to tell them before Ino comes back."

That's a sentiment he can relate to well enough. Yoshino has been pestering him about wives and heirs for some time now, and she's going to be equally elated and livid about it. Elated because he's finally chosen a suitor, and livid because he didn't tell her about it as soon as he began dating Sakura. Not to mention Yoshino will have to deem her worthy enough, and so will the elders.

But really, will they even find a better person to be the Nara Matriarch than the Hokage herself?

Sakura cups his face, runs her thumb along his cheekbone. He smiles up at her and knows they can do it. They faced a lot of stuff since their first Chunin Exam, Sakura more so since her first C-rank mission to the Land of Waves. After all that, it'll be easy to face their parents.

They will have to announce it to the village at some point, because they can't afford to have rumors of their relationship going around.

Well, they'll cross that bridge when they get to it.

Shikamaru turns his head to kiss her palm, smiling against her skin. Everything will be okay.

Unless the newcomer clearing their throat right now is Kakashi.

* * *

A big thank you to everyone leaving nice comments! I'll reply to them individually! I'm just... really bad at it afshafka but I'll get to it!


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